#Delhi2013 is My Fresh Chapter

For those of you who don't know, I want to go on a trip to India with 12 other cancer survivors. Terri Wingham, a trailblazer in the cancer (survivorship) world, it taking 12 survivors to India for two weeks in February to volunteer, give back and find a little bit out about themselves.

Terri has asked that all applicants write a blog entry with a max of 500 words about why they are ready for A Fresh Chapter (which is the name of Terri's blog and foundation).

Here's my entry...

After being told for seven months that 'it was nothing', on March 11th, 2011, I was diagnosed with stage II breast cancer at the age of 26. With no family history of the disease and being otherwise healthy, being blindsided is the only way I know how to describe my diagnosis.

I had a mastectomy 17 days after hearing the news and then went through six aggressive chemo treatments. As I approached the end of treatment, I kept thinking 'It's almost over' but I soon realized that even though treatment was coming to an end, cancer is never over.

I went through a transition or 'cancer limbo' as I like to call it where I couldn't identify as a patient any more but I certainly didn't feel like a survivor. As a part of this transition, I also had to get used to my new (post-treatment) normal.

When I finished treatment, I felt like everyone around me took a huge sigh of relief, and I took a huge sigh of 'what now?' I somewhat feel that it was the end of treatment where my journey really began. I am trying to find a place for myself in this world now. I am trying to balance my cancer life and my career, my personal life, and my relationships.

I don't think I necessarily understood how much of a void cancer left in my life until I read Terri's blog about taking a group of 12 survivors to India. I was in tears after reading about the trip and I knew I had to be one of those 12 survivors. #Delhi2013 gives me a sense of purpose, a way to give back (or pay forward what so many people did for me), a way to help others when I know so much about needing help.

Cancer can be (and was) so isolating and to be able to volunteer in a country like India gives me hope; hope for learning about others, hope for learning about myself and hope for my future as a healed (not to be confused with 'cured') breast cancer survivor.

I think this trip would provide a lot of emotional healing that I may not be able to find in another capacity. Having been out of treatment for a year now, I think I am ready to grow as an individual and truly learn what it means to start a fresh chapter.

'Sometimes you need to be on the other side to find your way back to yourself.'